Wait For Me

I found this video and I think it is amazing and in a lot of ways I know what the boy in the story felt and was doing. For I too feel that "if you could only understand my measure of success is different." than you could understand me better. None the less, In this movie the mother talked about this poem called wait for me which her son sent her. I found the words and posted them below. before you read the words I really want you to watch the video. I cannot get it to show up on here but click the link and watch. its literally 3 mins so it takes no time to watch but is so moving!

http://waitformemovie.wordpress.com/trailer/

-Wait For Me-

Wait for me, and I'll come back!
Wait with all you've got!
Wait, when dreary yellow rains
Tell you, you should not.
Wait when snow is falling fast,
Wait when summer's hot,
Wait when yesterdays are past,
Others are forgot.
Wait, when from that far-off place,
Letters don't arrive.
Wait, when those with whom you wait
Doubt if I'm alive.

Wait for me, and I'll come back!
Wait in patience yet
When they tell you off by heart
That you should forget.
Even when my dearest ones
Say that I am lost,
Even when my friends give up,
Sit and count the cost,
Drink a glass of bitter wine
To the fallen friend -
Wait! And do not drink with them!
Wait until the end!

Wait for me and I'll come back,
Dodging every fate!
"What a bit of luck!" they'll say,
Those that would not wait.
They will never understand
How amidst the strife,
By your waiting for me, dear,
You had saved my life.
Only you and I will know
How you got me through.
Simply - you knew how to wait -
No one else but you.

From:moscow-driver.com/photo211.html

Humbly I Come To You

Humbly I Come To You Brothers and Sisters! I have fallen victim to satan! I have lost my sting and satan has gained a foothold in my life. I am broken and ashamed, hurt but not dead. Of no fault but my own I lost sight of my Lord and Savior. Like Peter I lacked i took my eyes off Jesus and sank. BUT i am taking back what satan tried to steal and i am refocusing my eyes on Jesus! For satan has no power in my life because of what Jesus did for me. I come to you now knowing that you all can make a huge difference in my life! Its simple, bottom line is this! I need to be encouraged i need to be pushed to be the best man of God i can be i cannot do it alone. i do not ask this without knowing that i to must encourage as well and be that some person in your life, Because The Body of Christ has POWER and i ask that we band together and be the Body. This war is ours to win!

Let us pray! Let us pray for one another and i ask you to please pray for me. God listens and hears my cry's and there is power in prayer. so please please please pray!no matter where we are in this world one thing that bonds us together is prayer. lift up one another in prayer cry out to God on others behalf. Great things will happen! and victories will be won!

Let us read! Let us read the word (The Bible) and discern what God is speaking to us. the word is our sword it is what we have to arm our selves offensively in in this war. as we read and as we learn from the word and the holy spirit we must share with others. we must use the knowledge given to us. Please share with me what God is teaching you. this breaths life into my bones and inflames my soul with the fire to do great things and to persevere through hard times.

Let us encourage! let us come along side one another and encourage to do great things and to be better. i need to be encouraged i need to be challenged i need to be called out! it was not good for man to be alone so he sent a helper be that helper. no matter if you are male or female be the encourager that helper that comes along side your brother or sister in Christ and gives them hope. we have an obligation do not sit on the side lines any longer.

Like i said, i fell victim but i have not been defeated. i lost a single battle but the war rages on. i will not give up i will not stop fighting but i need your help! we need each others help! let us be the body of Christ and form a brotherhood and sisterhood of Believers empowered by God to wage war against satan and the darkness in this world!

i heard a story of a pastor who told a large group of people that most of us don't have to be attacked by satan, because we sin on our own with out his help. he said that for some of us satan doesn't even know our name because we are not a threat! But i am hear to tell you that satan knows my name! he knows the power that i have over him through my Lord Jesus Christ and i want us all to be on satans mind because of our FAITH and Power in Christ. we have to stop being bench warmers in Gods kingdom and become the true followers of Christ.

Please hear what i am saying! i cannot do this alone and i am asking for your help please assist me in being a better Man of God by being the Body of Christ. pray for me, encourage me, and share with me. my email is mcneels@bethelcollege.edu email me or comment below.Much Thanks to you!

Lobby Days

WOW! i cannot tell you how inspiring this day has been. over the course of the week i have been recked. most of the time that people think of that as a bad thing and although there have been some/A change that has been hard to swallow i know that it is in hands and its so much bigger than me. my heart is bruised but is held in the hands of my Lord and Savior. With that on my mind now and forever with me i try to take in everything that has been said today. we heard from so many influential people from African government, reps from Obama, international criminal court, Steven Lewis, tom shadyac, to the invisible children crew and so many more. Each one made the fire in my heart grow bigger and bigger. come to find out my name as been mentioned to the the recruitment department and i have been once again been asked to be a roadie for invisible children for this coming fall tour. this is not an easy decision and is such a prestigious offer coming from the lady in charge of hiring. as this passion burns inside me to be the change i look to God to direct my next step. i desire to be authentic and real and i cannot subdue and restrict who i am. i write this with such a heavy heart and with such an overwhelming Ora that puts tears in my eyes. a feeling that comes often from passion and a presence of the Holy Spirit. Yes, its all fresh and i am truly on a high but the fire has always burned deep in my soul. i know that my family and even friends will think i am crazy but i desire to take courage and step out and to be the author of my life story. tomorrow is a big day but like many others that are here have an amazing opportunity to make the story come alive in the eyes of those we have put into office. there is weight on my soldiers. i represent so many children that cannot speak and cannot be seen. i earnestly pray that God not only speaks through me truth but also those around me that also desire to write history and take a new step toward freedom in Africa. i also pray that like me and thousands of others that have been profoundly affected by this atrocity taking place in Africa that our Governments heart will be soft and will to be broken and enraged about death and rape and innocent lives being subjected to injustice. i am reaching a point of no return and also a point that is leaving me with out words. i can only ask that you also pray for everything and everyone involved with this movement and never ever forget the children. more to come....

Before i leave for Lobby Days

Well i am right now sitting in the living room of one of the people that i am riding with to Washington DC. there are 4 going so there is going to be some shifting in drivers which will make the trip a little bit more tolerable. although i am not looking forward to the drive i can not wait to get there and to reunite with some of our friends we met at the rescue. it will be nice to see them all again. the other exciting thing for me is getting to see two of my best friends SAM and Matt. i can not wait to catch up with my brothers and be together for a few days. Now, that we have that out of the way we must not forget the real reason we are going....to lobby for a bill that will help the efforts in Uganda. i am excited to be a part of this it is history in the making and that is remarkable. i also cant wait to see the result of such a push from people who care and to finally bring peace and resolve to Africa. during the rescue event i could not help but feel and see Gods presence all around the efforts. time and time again he provided and showed favor to us and i don't think this time will be any different. I know that people all around are praying and calling out to God and i know that he will hear our crys. i would ask you if you are reading this to stop and pray. pray for safe travels for everyone going pray for our government to have a soft heart and take action, and pray for the children that are being and have been affected by this monstrosity. to God be the glory in all that is being done and may we never lose heart.

Am I Called To Texas?

Through the internship one of the staff members will be helping us grow spiritually as we are here. We have been given three books to read and digest along with weekly meetings with him. this week he came in and wanted us to spend 30 min of quiet time thinking about this question: Are you called to river city community church? what does that mean? this is not a question that i have not thought about before he asked it and with out a shadow of a doubt i know that i am to be here! where i am running into trouble is with the second part of the question. i know that already God has been growing me personally challenging me in so many different areas of my life but i don't know how that directly ties into me being at this church. like i said i have no doubt that i am supposed to be here. as i was trying to find a place to do my internship this just fell into my lap a normal thing for God to do and like times in the past i have not really known what was in store or even why i was where i was But i know i am to be here. there was that since of peace when this all came together and many conformations along the way from friends who after prayer and intercession became excited for what God has planned. i know that me being here has opened up many doors and has introduced me to some amazing people that i can learn from. now as we are reaching nearly a half way point i wonder still what is in store, and why River City? To God be the Glory!

An Ah Ha Moment

Do you ever feel like you know what you need to do but you want there to be something else too. For instance, I feel that i know what God is asking of me but i want there to be more! Faith and Patience just doesn't seem like enough! I continue to be obedient to the little things asked of me and now I'm down to just letting God do the rest and here is where the problem is. this may not make since to you but i just worked that out as i was writing. it all goes back to some things that i feel God has been challenging me with and that is that its not about works. He wants more of my faith in Him because deep down i want control. See, when i have things that i can do then its on me and only i can be to blame but God wants me to release that desire to be in control and have faith in him and then just to be content and patient with it all in His hands. WHY IS THAT SOOO HARD!? its not that I'm not doing it but I'm not content with it I, ME, MYSELF, want more to do like my humanness can do more than God. REALLY SHANE?? What was going on in my brain? Here i was saying the right thing, i knew what i needed to do and how it all worked but something was not clicking. its been over the past few days as i have been digging into the word, listening to podcast, and Reading some A.W. Tozer that i have been confronted by God with this matter. i kept reading things about works based faith and so on and i didn't understand why this was so heavy on my heart. i Begin to get it as i cried out to God to test my faith and when he put on my heart what it was i needed to trust him with (not the first time he told me to do this, guess i thought he would forget) and as i Begin to take this desire to give him more faith more seriously and followed through with it i almost felt better like i had done something. How prideful and arrogant am i? Now, as i Begin to write my frustrations or what ever it was i was going to rite about, I GET IT. Humility, is quite humbling. So, here i am still in the same spot as before but coming to a realization that there is nothing I can do, nothing i can prove to God with my actions, but that its through my patients and my faithfulness that i will be obeying. I have tried to pour my heart out in honesty and in humility for the wrong reasons. In my desperate attempt to show my faith to God through my honesty it is not his desire for that to be my test of Faith but to be my simple obedience to his command. my faith comes now allowing him to be in control of the outcome.

First Speaking Exsperience Thus Far

Well i spoke at the other campus site today. it is in New Braunsfel, TX. they have a youth group there and the leader was out of town so Aaron asked me if i would want to speak so i agreed. i was thrilled with the opportunity and i consider it a privilege to speak truth. i was not very nervous at first. until i left from the office this morning. i found my self a bit nervous and quite anxious as i left and drove to the place. after much prayer and talking with a friend who gave me versus why i should not be nervous or scared or anxious i calmed down. it was lay ed on my heart to talk about turning from sin and receiving Gods Grace. when i finally got there i took part in their worship part of the service and then we headed to the youth room. this is normally a group of 16-20 i guess but today we only had 7. i know that in the word is truth and in the word is power. i don't know how they received it but i do know that i did my part. i was obedient to God and His will. over all it was a great experience and i am excited to speak more. i will also be leading a discipleship group with guys from the youth group and God has already begun to lay people on my heart to invite. please continue to pray for me there is much power in prayer and enormous POWER in our Lord Jesus Christ!