Wow what a trip it has been! the last real post i made was several weeks ago when i was still in Texas but SOOOO... much has happened since then! its almost hard to get started. well i finished off the internship at river city community church (reallife.org) with a bang. the last week was a service week where we did different service projects around the church and in San Antonio. lots of work and labor including stuff from cleaning up the church campus, to distributing produce and food to local ministries, to trimming trees, scraping paint off a house, to laying hard wood floor... the list goes on. but that all came to a quick halt on Sunday when i said good bye to my new friends and family and hello to 1200 miles of road!


Sunday night around 10:30pm after gassing up i left San Antonio and headed to San Diego California, more specifically imperial Beach California where Tony Wiltse interned at a church. it was a long drive, the longest i have ever made! i drove through the night till morning where i stopped at a motel parking lot in new Mexico and slept in my car for about 2 and a half hours. i then got back on the road only stopping for gas and the occasional boarder patrol stops. this was my first experience in the west seeing sweet mounds/mountain/hill things and in the west part of Arizona nothing but boring ole desert. the first 20 miles was cool but it quickly became monotonous and boring. but shortly after that i made it to my destination about 6:00 Cali time. what a relief that was!


once in Cali i once again made another short road trip to visit a friend named josh stutzman near ventura California where i stayed the night and caught up with him. we had fun going long boarding, bike riding, getting yogurt, going to the ventura fair, and playing smash bros on 64.


After returning to the most generous peoples home ever, which is where tony stayed all summer i was able to enjoy a day to my self on the beach body boarding and what not till tony got home. ate dinner with the Host family and then quickly jetted off to meet up with one of our most amazing roadie friends from invisible children ever Sabrina. it was great to catch up with her and get to view a bit of the San Diego area i had not been.


by this time its Friday do to a recent death of one of the x roadies with invisible children one of my friends from Texas that i road to lobby days with Krystal and her friend flew into town so we were able to hang out all day sight seeing in down town San Diego. it was sweet awesome great time eating yogurt, and Ethiopian food, and then later visiting the invisible children roadie house which holds around 60 people. CRAZY!! but it was awesome to meet those guys and of course hang out with one of my other brothers Matt who is currently a roadie for IC. through Matt i have gotten to know some amazing people.


then on Saturday a group of guys from the roadie house joined me with their surf boards on the beach we surfed all day long it was amazing! we had a blast chasing waves and hanging out! we got some sweet food from this little nothing Mexican place i think we all got the California burrito which was amazing had all kinds of stuff in it but very delish! after the long day of surfing we were absolutely drained and ended up relaxing at Tony's house watching movies and eating pizza we even took a little stroll down by the beach. such a great day and such awesome people to hang out with and talk to.


Sunday was also a interesting day. i attended Tony's church and got to meet a lot of the people he worked with and experience a bit more of how life was for him this summer. its an awesome place and the people seemed great too. after church tony and chad the other intern were having a little get together down at the beach so i went and picked Matt and Tyler up at the invisible children roadie house and headed to the beach for more surfing and food. we were still soo tired from the surfing the day before and a bit stiff as well so it was rough out there. non the less we had a great time. we then started back to the ic roadie house just me Matt and Tyler (tony was having dinner with his host family) We decided to indulge in some in and out food which was pretty darn good. good fries good shakes and good burgers! we then made it to the house and sat outside and talked for a few hours which is always good.




Monday was a very chill relaxing day for the most part. i got up and around went to goodwill and then headed over to pick up tony from the church . we hung out the rest of the day not really doing much of anything a little packing untill the evening when we headed down town San Diego too meet up one last time with our ic friends. we met them at the Invisible children headquarters which was pretty cool. we ended up getting a tour around the place checking out how things are done and what not. it was awesome to see the actual headquarters. then we headed off to get Sushi! it was awesome so much to eat and great fellowship with friends. while we were there the film makers with and some other staff of ic showed up to have some sushi so we were able to hang with them for a little while then we headed back to the ic roadie house and hung out and talked for a bit. it was an amazing night full of fun and fellowship. it was hard to say goodbye but it is awesome to know that i Will get to see most of them again when they come here to bethel for a screening.



Finally on Tuesday me and Tony hit the road not know what our trip would look like or entail but only knowing that we were headed to the Grand Canyon! after a few hours more like 9 or 10 we finally made it to the grand Canyon and oh what an adventure that was! few words are available to describe the beauty and massiveness of this place. it was spectacular! we arrived just before sundown we walked around taking it all in and even doing some off the path hiking out onto the little fingers of land that stick out but don't have fences around them it was amazing. after the sun said goodbye and the stars again overwhelmed us with beauty we decided to call it a night. since we didn't want to spend money to stay in the grand canyon national park we decided to take the free route in the national forest that is like a mile a way. we pulled in down this long gravel road till we saw a sign that said we could camp anywhere beyond this point and found a little fire pit just off the beaten path. so we pulled the car up and made "camp" if that's what you want to call it. we only had one blanket that fits a twin size bed so we made the plan to lay the blanket out near the fire we made and then we would spoon and throw the rest of the blanket over us. welll that worked for a while till the cold crept in. so around 1:30 we got up and stoked the fire and warmed ourselves. we then scooted the blanket closer to the fire and crawled back in after sleeping a while and waking up to coyotes howling i finally got up around 3:30 and got in the car i was wayyyy to cold to try and sleep it out. shortly after i left tony followed.



we then decided the next day to take our time at the Grand Canyon and to spend the day there. so we spent some time at the main area in the morning and then got in the car and hit some look out places that were in the direction we were headed.

it finally reached dusk and we were headed through the desert and off to Utah. we fond out about this place called monument Vally so we decided that would be our place to get to that night and sleep. we got there at about 10:30 or so that night. there was a resort/hotel there after looking around and trying to see what was out there in the distance we went to bed aka seats layed back in the car. we woke the next morning to an amazing sight. what seemed like nothing the night before was amazing beauty that morning. we spent the morning there fixed our own form of breakfast and jumped back on the road.

the beauty of this trip back was how we didn't plan much we just knew we wanted to go to a few places and in between that it didn't matter. so we stopped here and there and eventually came across a man named Leroy he was trying to hitch a ride to the back which was on our way and about 40-50 miles down the road so we made room and Leroy joined our trek. after dropping him off we headed to the next town in Utah that was significant to us. it was where one of our friends Calvin worked the summer before. he had two jobs and one was at this little dinner in the town so we stopped got food and talked to some of the people who knew him and then hit the road once again. determined to make it to Denver Colorado that night we finally made it.

that night we stopped at this little park and again slept in the car. the next morning we took it slow and decided we wanted to make it to Des monies Iowa where we both had a friend. after breaking through the rest of the mountains in Denver area we quickly hit the flat lands of Colorado, Nebraska, and Iowa. after a long day of driving we made it to our destination.

our friend lives at the catholic worker house there and with plenty of room we found a soft place to extend our legs and sleep. it was great. the next morning we help out distributing food at this local church. and we were able to relax and enjoy some down time. that evening we went to our friends place of work at this homeless teen center and hung out there for the night till we went back to the house and watched a movie and talked. in the morning we went to her church and then headed off to some friends of mine from youthworks. they were only like 40 miles away and in the direction we were headed so we stopped in and saw them. they treated us to lunch and a tour of pella Iowa.

on the road again and this time its close to home. we decided that the best way to top off this trip would be to go to Chicago. that night we stayed with our old boss from youthworks in the city. we caught up and hung out that night and most of the morning. we caught up with Nat that day too and hung with him for a bit and eventually ended up giving another friend of our from bethel a ride to bethel.

before we even made it home we dropped our friend off at school. that could have been quite possibly the weirdest feeling ever. it was very serial. from there we went to Tony's house and dropped stuff off and i headed on down to my grandma's where i ended my trip at around 2am.

Over all this trip was amazing! it was just what i needed to end the summer.

just to let you know

Its been Crazy!.... ill fill everyone in very soon on my advetures and awesome trip to cali!

Its Coming

Its coming! even though i knew it would, its kinda serial. i have officially closed out this work week at the church and am down to one! i knew that it would happen but i don't ever think you see it coming. Wow, what a summer. its been awesome being here and learning under Aaron and the staff here at River City Community Church. i have made tons of friends and it WILL be hard to leave. its always tough to leave people you spend time with and do life with and this summer has been no different. i have shared my life with some awesome youth and leaders and they have touched my life in so many ways i don't know if words can really explain. this epic adventure has taught me lots about myself and just about life in general. i do have to admit that i am excited to see my awesome friends and to see God blow my mind away this next year. BUT its not over. i only have one full week left here and then i will be heading to San Diego to visit tony and friends there, where i will be hitting the road with tony once again and returning to good ole Indiana. i cant even wrap my mind around the idea of leaving right now so I'm not going to try. so i guess all i can do is pray about it all and ask you all to also be praying for me and the people here in San Antonio this last week and of course the weeks to come. God Bless!

A Little Something I Found

"Love doesn't die, People do. So, when all that's left of me is love... Give me away" - Merrit Malloy

The Fight is Real and Ill Fight The Fight

I started this a few weeks ago just got around to posting it.

i believe its the great things in life you have to fight for. from the simple things like getting out of bed to the fight against the flesh that trys to take over instead, but no matter what it is...

The fight is real and ill fight the fight!

this fight is a part of my innermost parts. im wired with passion its what ignights, and starts.

The fight is real and ill fight the fight!

beat down crushed all battered and brused ill fight to the end even if i lose.

The fight is real and ill fight the fight

i have lost the fight but i hate to lose. if you know me at all this isnt new news.

The fight is real and ill fight the fight

i wont let up, i wont stay down, i can still feel the beat of my heart pound, pound.

The fight is real and ill fight the fight!

i take one on the chin and ill do it again iv cracked a rib and brused my shin.

The fight is real and ill fight the fight!

some might call me stupid when i wont stay down, but my heart is beating and i cant stop that sound.

The fight is real and ill fight the fight

as i look at where im at and on down this road i see the fight in my face and its lurking round every corner even in the garden that i sowed.

The fight is real and ill fight the fight

this fights worth fighting even if you dont come out on top, because its for the great things in life, just fight, dont stop.

Poem from a friend: it seems like i fall time and time again

One of my friends wrote this poem i think its awesome and i asked to share it with you all.

it seems like i fall time and time again

it seems like i fall time and time agian
then i realize were all just men
i find myself fighing the same fight i have always fought and when i look up i realize your all ive got
as men fail and as men win those battles the fight time and time again
those same struggles they always see
lord of lord please hear my plea

im tired of being cut down
im tired of being laughed at all around
im tired of feeling this pain
God of God please take it away
Lord help me with my struggles this i plea
Lord MY God take them away from me

Post Camp '09

its simple really. God is Good! there may be sceptics out there feeling that camp is just another high, just another program that kids can experience an emotion rather than a heart transplant. to be honest i have been sceptical of the camp experience before. as i thought about this week i thought about how ridiculous it would be to underestimate the power of this week and the things that happened. YES, God did speak to every kid there! Yes, there were kids that let go of the world experiencing freedom in Christ Jesus for the first time. Yes, they/we experienced a siritual high. but why wouldn't we? when you submerse yourself into a place of worship to God and you allow Him to speak you better believe you are going to be wrecked! you cant leave a camp like i was just out and not be moved in some way by God! Glory to God for that Truth!



What a week! i could not be more proud of the 94 people that came with our church. lives were changed. we had 9 first time commitments to a life for Christ! so welcome your new brothers and sisters of Christ! it doesn't stop there. i don't think that those 9 even begin to scratch the suffice of what God did this week! oh the passion that i have found. oh, the passion i have found for God. its simple we met God this week and now we get to live it now we get to meet Him every single day. this high that has spread across the camp doesn't ever have to stop there our God desires to meet us every moment of our life with a high like this week. God is awesome and continues to show His power and love over and over! keep praying!

Precamp '09

Can i just say that God is SO GOOD! cuz i just did! I'm sitting in my room looking at the week ahead still on a high from my bible study that started tonight and i cant stop thinking about how amazing God is. its not like i have a reason to be shocked. he is always here and always willing to show his power but i cant help but be amazed. its awesome to see how God can use broken people to glorify himself. i have been asking and desiring more passion and i think its here. since you are reading this i will ask you to pray for my guys in my bible study and for me as i not only lead but as i fight the good fight right along side of them. there is so much power in prayer. it doesn't care how far away you might be or where you are in life. so thinks for being the body of Christ.

Now, as it gets late and i look at this upcoming week at camp i feel the fire building inside my soul. i will be gone for a week with almost 100 kids from our church and many more from other churches in the area. its exciting! i know that this week is going to impact many students and whets more exciting about this is the passion that Arron (youth pastor) has to keep the impact going when we get back. we all probably know how camp goes a lot of times, with kids leaving camp on a spiritual high and reaching real life and losing it all. but that's not what we are about. and again you can be part of this movement of God by praying. while i am at camp i will be leading one of the small groups in the morning along with a few others from our church and the other churches and i know that this is something that not only myself but others are a bit nervous about. we have a lot of weight on our shoulders and want to do all that we can for these kids. thankfully we don't have to do it alone because God is with us. well that's all i have to tell you now but i will be sure to let you all know how things went when i get back.

Poems

I sat in Barnes and Nobel again today and read some poetry. i enjoyed it. as i read i wrote down some of them that stuck out to me or that i liked. thought id share them. let me know your thoughts. enjoy!

Soil by: Serj Tankian, cool gardens
A flowers mother
A soldiers father
The farmers wife
The start and end of life,
The Sword cant cut it,
Man cant kill it,
millions pounding on your face,
you take the pain
and present no fight,
you give them flowers,f
ruits and drugs,
they give you trash, oil, and shit
we would rather pray to something
we cant see or touch,
than you, our God.

Pen by: Serj Tankian, cool gardens
A pen is but a pen,
when the time comefor its retirement.
a career is but a job,
modern indentured servitude,
if not for the challenge and dreams.
and a day is just a
collection of hours,
if not for that one
sparkling, coaxing,
loving smile on your face

Indentured Servitude by: Serj Tankian, cool gardens
expand, increase, grow, merge,
Partner up, sell more, make more,
Spend more, have more,
Hoard more, live more?
Live less, for you can only
Eat, sleep, drink, and shit so many times a day.
And the sun will shine at your face, either way,
Unless you're locked up in an office,
Serving some client, boss, or God,
In your own willing indentured servitude.

My Words by: Serj Tankian, cool gardens
My words escape me,
As I escape them,
To define me,
As not refined, mimed release expressions,
Of continuous thoghts
Pouring out like red wine
From a dark green bottle
On a creme colored carpet,
Or white sand.

My words escape me,
As i escape them,
For love is beauty, and beauty is love,
As diabolical dreams of intestines on a platter,
As kidneys, lungs, and livers,
Rushing the blood, my blood, winded, noisey.

My words escape me,
As i escape the world.

Now by:Serj Tankian, cool gardens
Time is always now,
Here, forever,
Time is always now
Gone, never,
God is now
The ruler of the present
His son, a lesson,
Born of a peasent.
We stay here always,
As bodies go
As far as they can see
For now is again now,
Here, forever!

The Dirty Hand by: Mark Strand, selected poems
My hand is dirty.
I must cut it off.
To wash it is pointless.
The water is putrid.
The soap is bad.
It won't lather.T
he hand is dirty.
It's been dirty for years.

I used to keep it
out of sight,
in my pocket.
No one suspected a thing.
People came up to me,
wanting to shake hands.
I would refuse
and the hidden hand,
like a dark slug,
would leave its imprinton my thigh.
And then I relized
it was the same if i used it or not.
Disgust was the same.

How many nights
in the depths of the house
I washed that hand,
scrubbed it, pollished it,
dreamed it would turn
to diamond or crystal
or even, at last, into a plain white hand,
the clean hand of a man,
that you could shake,
or kiss, or hold
in one of those moments
when two people confess without saying a word...
Only to have the incurable hand,
lethargic and crablike,
open its dirty fingers.

And the dirt was vile.
It was not mud or soot
or the caked filth
of an old scab
or the sweat of a laborer's shirt.
It was a sad dirt
made of sickness
and human anguish.
It was not black;
black is pure.
it was dull,
a dull grayish dirt.

It is impossable
to live with this
gross hand that lies
on the table.
Quick! Cut it off!
Chop it to pieces
and throw it
into the ocean.
With time, with hope
and its intricate workings
another hand will come,
pure, transparent as glass,
and fasten itsself to my arm.

Tomorrow by: Mark Strand, Selected Poems
Your best friend is gone,
your other friend, too.
Now the dream that used to turn in your sleep,
sails into the year's coldest night.
What did you say?
Or was it something you did?
It makes no difference-the house of breath collapsing
around your voice, your voice burning, are nothing to worry
about
Tommorow your friends will come back;
your moist open mouth will bloom in the glass of storefronts.
Yes. Yes. Tommorow they will come back and you
will invent an ending that comes out right.

And The Truth Will Set You Free

As i was looking around on facebook the other day i came across a note that was written by a friend that some of you may know, Dan Hill. As i began to read the note entitled "The Truth Is..." I was taken back by the Honesty that the first sentence reviled and in so many ways my heart was screaming "that's you too." to make a long story short this post by Dan was great and very thought provoking and inspiring. check it out!!!



The truth is I am a defiled, addicted, heartless, fool who doesn't deserve anyone's sympathy or love. I am broken. I am weak. I can't conquer my sins. I am lost and confused. I can't love, and i refuse to see my savior.



For the first time in my life i see and accept my waywardness. All of us who know Christ know that we have sinned, but very few of us have grasp the depth to which we have fallen and what it should mean for our lives. We hide the pain and weaknesses, putting on a mask because we are told that if we are Christians then our lives should be together, joyful, and sin-free. We think that by trying to act like everything is okay we are moving toward perfection and to renewing our minds. It is in fact the complete opposite.



Mark 2: 17 says, "On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."" No one on this earth is healthy or righteous so who then are these people that Jesus is referring to and who are those who are sick?



I thought i was okay. I thought that i had my life together, and on the outside it looked like it. I could talk about how God had saved me from sin and how good he was, but all the while i was simply content with following the rules that were easy for me and "condemning" those who struggled with those simple rules; i ignored the things i struggled with because they were easy to hide from the world. I was the "righteous" the Jesus was speaking of.



Since no one is righteous Jesus was talking about people who try to display themselves as "together." We are not able to be truly be freed or forgiven until we consider ourselves sick and needy. It is then that we are given grace and are then able to give grace to others.



1 Corinthians 1: 27-30 says, "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. 30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption."



When we see ourselves as the lowly, the fools, and the despised it is then that we allow God's grace to truly cover our darkest sin and our greatest weaknesses. We live in transparency and freedom and are given God's peace that despite the truth of our decrepit existence He is love. He gives us the grace to begin boasting in our weaknesses and He uses our sin and our weakness as a testimony of His power and grace. We are set free from the bonds and shame of our life and we begin a new one in His peace.



The Truth is our God is a loving, forgiving,grace giving, peace imparting, miracle working father who deserves all of our love and worship. He is good. He can overcome your sin. He has good plans and knows your steps. He is love and He makes himself known to us. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2Mbzk2GfqA

Hold True

I am not sure what was on my mind when i wrote this but i know that was in philosophy class this last year when i jotted this little deal down. thought i would share it with you.

Should we all allow this idea to be put in place? In theory it is an idea that sparks interest in human minds. Then as we see clearer it is only a manipulation of the true facts. This is something not to be taken lightly but rather one to be tested and tried. Push this idea to the end and if it doesn't work then throw it out. Do not settle for something that does not accomplish what it set out to be done at first. Be bold and not weak, stay strong and do not grow weary.
Hold True!

Just a little something to ponder. maybe it will apply to some area of your life or maybe it wont make since at all, regardless it is what it is.

I Told You My Brain Was Dangerous

Do you ever have a desire to write? its not an uncommon thing for me, but most the time the common thing is not really having a clue what to write. sort of like this moment right now. soooo i decided to write about not knowing what to write about. sounds exciting right? yeah i didn't think so ether. today has been a day of reflection and relaxation mostly spent at barns and nobel reading and listening to music. these types of days always fill my brain with amazing quotes and thoughts but so many times i cant channel them. for instance i read a variety of different things like, psalms 52 and 3, which that alone left my mind a boggled mess. then there was poems from three different books i grabbed, The Collected poems of William Carlos Williams volume I 1909-1939, Celebrations rituals of peace and prayers Maya Angelou, and Mark Strand new selected poems. these were awesome and again put my mind in a state much like a helium balloon that has been released into the air. after a break for belly fuel (food) i put the brain back to work with some A.W. Tozer's the root of the righteous, a book that from the start rocked my world and has not let up. then as i looked around in good ol barns and nobel i saw a book that caught my attention. it was called why do men have nipples? yes, i did pick it up and i did read most of the material. the book was wrote to answer some of questions that people would never ask a doctor unless under the influence. a lot of the questions i knew the answer to do to my good ol anatomy days, and then others were legit questions that i know have knowledge about. As you can see my brain got a work out today. most of you that know me or that have met me know the crazy, wild, energetic side of me but don't always see this intellectual side of me. then again some of you know the deep serious side of me oh to well and have heard me rant and rave on my soap box's many times. i guess the moral of this story is that you all should take a look at any of these books i have read today. they were all so good and great brain stimulator's. i would have to say that this little writing session has turned out better than expected and has quenched my appetite to write...for now.

A Thought to Ponder

Some of you might know that i am not a big fan of C.S. Lewis, not for a good reason or because i have really read much of his stuff, but because at Bethel i cant go a day without hearing his name. just drives me up a wall sometimes. None the less i was online looking at different quotes from different people and i came across this one by the one and only C.S. Lewis and i thought it was very good and very true so i am lowering my pride and going to share it.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

-C.S. Lewis-

Im A Dreamer!

I'm going to write this and for those out there who might worry about me (mom, grandma, dad...) don't. This is me talking off my chest. Its just something that has crossed my mind. DREAMS. I have always been a dreamer. For as long as I can remember I have been dreaming about life adn everything in it. Through the years is has evolved and changed and new things have come up. sometimes, my dreams break me. Sometimes I wonder why I even dream. I don't think many of my dreams have really ever came true. In fact often times they leave me disappointed. I dream about the little things and I dream about the big things. I have high expectations with most things in life. Lets face it I dream big. Even though I know that things are not always going to turn out like I dream or hope for I usually don't loosen up, I hold on tight saying it can happen. Time and time again those expectations fall short and I'm left standing there with a dream in my lap and reality hitting me in the face. I walk back home and I start the dream all over again. Sometimes I get tired of dreaming and I wish I could just be a realist. I guess right now I kinda feel that way. The funny thing is that even now in this thought of not wanting to dream or be optimistic I catch myself saying well it could happen and the dreams swell and take over. This is going to be one of my only realistic moments and the reality is I'm A Dreamer! So if you were sitting there reading this worried, like I know some of you were even though I told you not to be, I have not changed. I'm still a dreamer!

“If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.”
-Flavia Weedn-

“Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.”
-Leon Joseph-

“There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?"
-Robert Frances Kennedy-

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
-C.S. Lewis-

“Life is never easy for those who dream.”
-Robert James Waller-

Blood Is All That Separates Us

Do you have people in your life that no matter whats going on no matter if you are wrong or right they will listen? They will let you vent for hours and when the time is right they will bring you back to reality bring you back to the place that is most important. I DO! I have friends that understand me, that know who I am, and exactly what I need. They know just what to say, and love me unconditionally. These are friends that cannot be replaced. These are friends that I thanks God for. These are friends that are more than just friends....They are family. They are my brothers, and they are my sisters that I love and cherish. We are not of the same blood but we are family. I love having you all in my life and I just want to say...THANK YOU! For what ever reason right now I cant stop thinking about those friends that are more then friends. Even in the midst of our lives and the crazy places we are all headed I know that nothing but blood will ever separate us!

Wait For Me

I found this video and I think it is amazing and in a lot of ways I know what the boy in the story felt and was doing. For I too feel that "if you could only understand my measure of success is different." than you could understand me better. None the less, In this movie the mother talked about this poem called wait for me which her son sent her. I found the words and posted them below. before you read the words I really want you to watch the video. I cannot get it to show up on here but click the link and watch. its literally 3 mins so it takes no time to watch but is so moving!

http://waitformemovie.wordpress.com/trailer/

-Wait For Me-

Wait for me, and I'll come back!
Wait with all you've got!
Wait, when dreary yellow rains
Tell you, you should not.
Wait when snow is falling fast,
Wait when summer's hot,
Wait when yesterdays are past,
Others are forgot.
Wait, when from that far-off place,
Letters don't arrive.
Wait, when those with whom you wait
Doubt if I'm alive.

Wait for me, and I'll come back!
Wait in patience yet
When they tell you off by heart
That you should forget.
Even when my dearest ones
Say that I am lost,
Even when my friends give up,
Sit and count the cost,
Drink a glass of bitter wine
To the fallen friend -
Wait! And do not drink with them!
Wait until the end!

Wait for me and I'll come back,
Dodging every fate!
"What a bit of luck!" they'll say,
Those that would not wait.
They will never understand
How amidst the strife,
By your waiting for me, dear,
You had saved my life.
Only you and I will know
How you got me through.
Simply - you knew how to wait -
No one else but you.

From:moscow-driver.com/photo211.html

Humbly I Come To You

Humbly I Come To You Brothers and Sisters! I have fallen victim to satan! I have lost my sting and satan has gained a foothold in my life. I am broken and ashamed, hurt but not dead. Of no fault but my own I lost sight of my Lord and Savior. Like Peter I lacked i took my eyes off Jesus and sank. BUT i am taking back what satan tried to steal and i am refocusing my eyes on Jesus! For satan has no power in my life because of what Jesus did for me. I come to you now knowing that you all can make a huge difference in my life! Its simple, bottom line is this! I need to be encouraged i need to be pushed to be the best man of God i can be i cannot do it alone. i do not ask this without knowing that i to must encourage as well and be that some person in your life, Because The Body of Christ has POWER and i ask that we band together and be the Body. This war is ours to win!

Let us pray! Let us pray for one another and i ask you to please pray for me. God listens and hears my cry's and there is power in prayer. so please please please pray!no matter where we are in this world one thing that bonds us together is prayer. lift up one another in prayer cry out to God on others behalf. Great things will happen! and victories will be won!

Let us read! Let us read the word (The Bible) and discern what God is speaking to us. the word is our sword it is what we have to arm our selves offensively in in this war. as we read and as we learn from the word and the holy spirit we must share with others. we must use the knowledge given to us. Please share with me what God is teaching you. this breaths life into my bones and inflames my soul with the fire to do great things and to persevere through hard times.

Let us encourage! let us come along side one another and encourage to do great things and to be better. i need to be encouraged i need to be challenged i need to be called out! it was not good for man to be alone so he sent a helper be that helper. no matter if you are male or female be the encourager that helper that comes along side your brother or sister in Christ and gives them hope. we have an obligation do not sit on the side lines any longer.

Like i said, i fell victim but i have not been defeated. i lost a single battle but the war rages on. i will not give up i will not stop fighting but i need your help! we need each others help! let us be the body of Christ and form a brotherhood and sisterhood of Believers empowered by God to wage war against satan and the darkness in this world!

i heard a story of a pastor who told a large group of people that most of us don't have to be attacked by satan, because we sin on our own with out his help. he said that for some of us satan doesn't even know our name because we are not a threat! But i am hear to tell you that satan knows my name! he knows the power that i have over him through my Lord Jesus Christ and i want us all to be on satans mind because of our FAITH and Power in Christ. we have to stop being bench warmers in Gods kingdom and become the true followers of Christ.

Please hear what i am saying! i cannot do this alone and i am asking for your help please assist me in being a better Man of God by being the Body of Christ. pray for me, encourage me, and share with me. my email is mcneels@bethelcollege.edu email me or comment below.Much Thanks to you!

Lobby Days

WOW! i cannot tell you how inspiring this day has been. over the course of the week i have been recked. most of the time that people think of that as a bad thing and although there have been some/A change that has been hard to swallow i know that it is in hands and its so much bigger than me. my heart is bruised but is held in the hands of my Lord and Savior. With that on my mind now and forever with me i try to take in everything that has been said today. we heard from so many influential people from African government, reps from Obama, international criminal court, Steven Lewis, tom shadyac, to the invisible children crew and so many more. Each one made the fire in my heart grow bigger and bigger. come to find out my name as been mentioned to the the recruitment department and i have been once again been asked to be a roadie for invisible children for this coming fall tour. this is not an easy decision and is such a prestigious offer coming from the lady in charge of hiring. as this passion burns inside me to be the change i look to God to direct my next step. i desire to be authentic and real and i cannot subdue and restrict who i am. i write this with such a heavy heart and with such an overwhelming Ora that puts tears in my eyes. a feeling that comes often from passion and a presence of the Holy Spirit. Yes, its all fresh and i am truly on a high but the fire has always burned deep in my soul. i know that my family and even friends will think i am crazy but i desire to take courage and step out and to be the author of my life story. tomorrow is a big day but like many others that are here have an amazing opportunity to make the story come alive in the eyes of those we have put into office. there is weight on my soldiers. i represent so many children that cannot speak and cannot be seen. i earnestly pray that God not only speaks through me truth but also those around me that also desire to write history and take a new step toward freedom in Africa. i also pray that like me and thousands of others that have been profoundly affected by this atrocity taking place in Africa that our Governments heart will be soft and will to be broken and enraged about death and rape and innocent lives being subjected to injustice. i am reaching a point of no return and also a point that is leaving me with out words. i can only ask that you also pray for everything and everyone involved with this movement and never ever forget the children. more to come....

Before i leave for Lobby Days

Well i am right now sitting in the living room of one of the people that i am riding with to Washington DC. there are 4 going so there is going to be some shifting in drivers which will make the trip a little bit more tolerable. although i am not looking forward to the drive i can not wait to get there and to reunite with some of our friends we met at the rescue. it will be nice to see them all again. the other exciting thing for me is getting to see two of my best friends SAM and Matt. i can not wait to catch up with my brothers and be together for a few days. Now, that we have that out of the way we must not forget the real reason we are going....to lobby for a bill that will help the efforts in Uganda. i am excited to be a part of this it is history in the making and that is remarkable. i also cant wait to see the result of such a push from people who care and to finally bring peace and resolve to Africa. during the rescue event i could not help but feel and see Gods presence all around the efforts. time and time again he provided and showed favor to us and i don't think this time will be any different. I know that people all around are praying and calling out to God and i know that he will hear our crys. i would ask you if you are reading this to stop and pray. pray for safe travels for everyone going pray for our government to have a soft heart and take action, and pray for the children that are being and have been affected by this monstrosity. to God be the glory in all that is being done and may we never lose heart.

Am I Called To Texas?

Through the internship one of the staff members will be helping us grow spiritually as we are here. We have been given three books to read and digest along with weekly meetings with him. this week he came in and wanted us to spend 30 min of quiet time thinking about this question: Are you called to river city community church? what does that mean? this is not a question that i have not thought about before he asked it and with out a shadow of a doubt i know that i am to be here! where i am running into trouble is with the second part of the question. i know that already God has been growing me personally challenging me in so many different areas of my life but i don't know how that directly ties into me being at this church. like i said i have no doubt that i am supposed to be here. as i was trying to find a place to do my internship this just fell into my lap a normal thing for God to do and like times in the past i have not really known what was in store or even why i was where i was But i know i am to be here. there was that since of peace when this all came together and many conformations along the way from friends who after prayer and intercession became excited for what God has planned. i know that me being here has opened up many doors and has introduced me to some amazing people that i can learn from. now as we are reaching nearly a half way point i wonder still what is in store, and why River City? To God be the Glory!

An Ah Ha Moment

Do you ever feel like you know what you need to do but you want there to be something else too. For instance, I feel that i know what God is asking of me but i want there to be more! Faith and Patience just doesn't seem like enough! I continue to be obedient to the little things asked of me and now I'm down to just letting God do the rest and here is where the problem is. this may not make since to you but i just worked that out as i was writing. it all goes back to some things that i feel God has been challenging me with and that is that its not about works. He wants more of my faith in Him because deep down i want control. See, when i have things that i can do then its on me and only i can be to blame but God wants me to release that desire to be in control and have faith in him and then just to be content and patient with it all in His hands. WHY IS THAT SOOO HARD!? its not that I'm not doing it but I'm not content with it I, ME, MYSELF, want more to do like my humanness can do more than God. REALLY SHANE?? What was going on in my brain? Here i was saying the right thing, i knew what i needed to do and how it all worked but something was not clicking. its been over the past few days as i have been digging into the word, listening to podcast, and Reading some A.W. Tozer that i have been confronted by God with this matter. i kept reading things about works based faith and so on and i didn't understand why this was so heavy on my heart. i Begin to get it as i cried out to God to test my faith and when he put on my heart what it was i needed to trust him with (not the first time he told me to do this, guess i thought he would forget) and as i Begin to take this desire to give him more faith more seriously and followed through with it i almost felt better like i had done something. How prideful and arrogant am i? Now, as i Begin to write my frustrations or what ever it was i was going to rite about, I GET IT. Humility, is quite humbling. So, here i am still in the same spot as before but coming to a realization that there is nothing I can do, nothing i can prove to God with my actions, but that its through my patients and my faithfulness that i will be obeying. I have tried to pour my heart out in honesty and in humility for the wrong reasons. In my desperate attempt to show my faith to God through my honesty it is not his desire for that to be my test of Faith but to be my simple obedience to his command. my faith comes now allowing him to be in control of the outcome.

First Speaking Exsperience Thus Far

Well i spoke at the other campus site today. it is in New Braunsfel, TX. they have a youth group there and the leader was out of town so Aaron asked me if i would want to speak so i agreed. i was thrilled with the opportunity and i consider it a privilege to speak truth. i was not very nervous at first. until i left from the office this morning. i found my self a bit nervous and quite anxious as i left and drove to the place. after much prayer and talking with a friend who gave me versus why i should not be nervous or scared or anxious i calmed down. it was lay ed on my heart to talk about turning from sin and receiving Gods Grace. when i finally got there i took part in their worship part of the service and then we headed to the youth room. this is normally a group of 16-20 i guess but today we only had 7. i know that in the word is truth and in the word is power. i don't know how they received it but i do know that i did my part. i was obedient to God and His will. over all it was a great experience and i am excited to speak more. i will also be leading a discipleship group with guys from the youth group and God has already begun to lay people on my heart to invite. please continue to pray for me there is much power in prayer and enormous POWER in our Lord Jesus Christ!

This Week and My Life

Well its a crazy week. the youth team has been helping out with the children's ministry team with their week long event "Sports Camp." i am currently running the soccer portion of the camp. its really not a camp nothing is being taught or learned but its just a bunch of little kids running around playing what ever game is there. we wont get into all that but it has been a lot of early mornings and long days. today we went and played laser tag. it was a great time and an amazing event. tomorrow we also have an event called fast food Friday where we go to a different fast food restaurant every Friday and just hang out with any of the youth who want to come. i am so tired right now but i continue to push through. this coming Sunday i will be giving the message for the youth at our other campus. it is a smaller group of about 16 which i am happy about. i am nervous in some ways but i also consider it a great opportunity and a huge complement for only being here a couple weeks and on short notice being asked to take on this assignment. i know that God is in control and is and will be with me guiding my steps and forming my lips. right now i was given a short outline on Grace so that is most likely what i will be talking about. the other option is service. which is what Aaron the youth pastor is speaking on. we are still figuring things out.

God is so Good! He continues to bring me closer and closer to Him as i Seek Him. I continue to see His goodness and grace lived out in my own life. along with seeing the Power of His promises in my life. I continue to ask and seek a deeper relationship with him and a deeper understanding of His Presence and Power in my life. I am raising the Bar in my relationship with Him not settling for a mediocre faith. as i was reading last night and today anything we ask for in his name he will give. Have faith all!!! the same power that raised men from the dead healed the sick and entered people into his presence is the same power that lives in us through the Holy Spirit. my faith is week but i long to have faith to move mountains and have a very real and personal relationship with our Heavenly father. i have a long way to go but i believe! I am so blessed to have the friends and relationships i do in my life and i thank you for your support and encouragement and more so Thank you truly being the Body of Christ! may your lives be blessed and may the presence of our God change your life! please pray and continue to be the Body of Christ. daily we are tempted and attacked by satan, i am no different. pray for strength to over come. pray for guidance and direction for everything in my life. i no longer live for me but for God Alone.
Still Broken Still a Sinner but Redeemed and Made Whole by Gods Grace,
Shane

How About We Listen!!!

You don't need another direction! I will direct you as you choose to obey the things i have already told you! God is so much less concerned with my particular location as he is with who I'm becoming! God is always about character. Are you becoming more like Jesus or aren't you? we think God needs us to get us some where! God does not need YOU to get YOU where YOU are going. Just seek God! Do what God Told you to Do!

Words from Mark Carter of Torch Church, A Man Preaching Gods Word!
Check out his podcasts at:
Torch Church Podcast and The Torch Podcast on itunes or go to the website www.torchchurch.tv

Updates On My Life

So its been a while since I my last post and a lot has gone on since then. my last post was talking about home as I was getting ready for family to arrive. Since then my family has arrived I have been blessed to be put with such caring and hospitable people. their names a re Melissa and Paul and they have a son named Franklin. I am actually getting spoiled with home cooked dinner every night. I'm not going to know what to do with myself when I get back. haha... I do miss the time i had to my self before they came back at times but I can not complain one bit. God has and is providing me with everything I need.

I have now been through a full Sunday and two Wednesday night groups. this last Sunday was good I like how they are doing things. there are three services here at River City so how it works for me is I come in at 7:30 and attend the regular service first thing. then for the other two services there are youth services. which i think is awesome. the youth services begin with a peer/youth led music worship time followed by Arron's (the youth pastor) message and then they break of into small groups led by different leaders. Its such a great set up for Sundays and the program.


Wednesdays are ran differently. we start off with some kind of game or crazy activity and after that they break off into small groups for the message the small group time is then integrated into the message breaking things up a bit. there are both pros and con's but overall I like how it is and goes. this last Wednesday we played a game that required partners saddling up piggy back style. the person on bottom has a blindfold and the one on top has an egg in their mouth and is required to navigate the both of them through an obstacle course. it was a fun game especially after cracking an egg over the head of one of the girls. that then (after Aaron told everyone to get me) turned into a hit Shane with the rest of the eggs. after running and jumping over a few fences and running out of energy i managed to only get hit by a couple. none the less it was an eventful youth group haha... after the message and some meangaling we piled 8 people into the church van and decided to take advantage of the free root beer floats that were being given away at Sonic. after traveling to 5 different Sonics we finally called it a night. just some story telling for you.


I have read a couple books over the past few weeks and am working on another one. the first two have been great books making me think and challenging me in my walk with Christ. One was the "Barbarian Way" this book encourages me so much. one thing that i really want to live out is trusting in God's power and believing fully in his power. In Him we can do all things!

here are some more pictures from my new home

front of the house

another shot from the front

another flower

a flower out back

the back patio

right side of the back yard

left side of the back yard

the hall way

the office

the living room area

out back

My Day, My Night, and My Thoughts of The Future

Today is a day that the Lord has made. Today has been for the most part, without taking away from God, just another day. I had today off from the church. I guess the rule is if a Holiday falls on a day off they take a day off latter in the week so since memorial day was on Monday and Monday is always a day off we got Friday off. Hope that makes since. any way, Today i decided to sleep in till about 11:00. it was quite nice and probably needed even though i feel like taking one right now. I got up and decided to sit in the living room and read (The Barbarian Way, by Erwin Raphael McManus) when my "grandma" came in and asked if I would like to go with them to run a Eran and go to a place that has sea food. If you know me much i am always up for food and even more so when its free(I'm going to be so spoiled!). After getting around and reading some more we took off and went to the restaurant "Sea Island" and ate. it was very good I got shrimp and fish it was delish(did you like that rhyme?). after lunch came one of my highlights of the day and that was being lost with locals haha... its always such a comforting thing! but we made our way to and from and finally reached home where I had a conversation with a lovely lady and did some more reading. once dinner time came my "grandparents" invited me over for dinner which consisted of veggies and dip and a little left over chicken. "Grandpa" and I then proceeded to talk a little politics for quite some time. Now, Finlay, I find myself alone. a place that I rarely enjoy with much passion. its hard for me sometimes. I know that its good and I know need Independence and for the most part I know when I need to be alone, but I enjoy company. Company that I Enjoy. this is my last night alone in this part of the house. tomorrow sometime the rest of the family will be arriving back home. You might think that I am looking forward to this and in many ways I really and truly am BUT there is something about being alone in this house that in a way makes it feel like mine. I love having to myself, I love sitting at night on the couch or in the chair and reading a book. there is something missing though. my "home" is empty. I cant wait for the day that i am able to share a home with my wife and at some point kids. I get lonely and with my relationship with the Lord i know that I just need to be Obedient and Patient and look to Him to fill that void, but this is where my heart is. desiring to share my life. As I now snap out of my dream world and face the reality of tomorrow I realize that things are not going to be that way. I will no longer have "my space" (that was never mine to start with) but instead I will have to share it and live amongst these new people. I know God is going to use these people to strengthen me and help me to learn but its a hard truth to come to grips with at the moment. God is Good and I am truly excited to meet them and to learn from them and see what God has in store.

My first night at River City Church Youth Group. It went really well. here are some pictures of the kids playing a game. Should be a fun and exciting summer.

HERE WE GO!!!!

I have arrived!!! my home in San Antonio is beautiful! i am excited to get to know my family and to be here. currently the actual family isn't here they are on vacation so i have the house to my self till the end of the week, but the ladies parents have a place connected to their house. they have two cats named ford and mustang, a 11 year old son and a son who is graduated and married. since i didn't bring a whole lot it didn't take long to get unpacked and settled in. i was able to sit down and eat dinner with the grandma and grandpa that live there which was pretty sweet they are the cutest couple. there are some crazy differences here that just blow my mind. ill get to those in a bit. its so crazy to be here.

its so cool to see what God is doing and how he has planned this out. even on the way here i was not very excited and actually was very nerves about what was in store and going to take place. now as i am settling in to the position and into my home i get eager to see what is still in store for me. one of the lessons i am learning from God these days is to be obedient and patient. he continues to tell me that i just need to follow him and do what he desires me to do and then just be patient because he has it under control and his time is perfect. at times this can be frustrating and discouraging but my focus is on him and i continue to seek his will for my life and wait for him do do his thing.

Now let me tell you about Texas! i still cant really believe I'm in Texas. for instance i was doing some painting in the youth room today and was taking the ladder back to where i got it and on my way the was a little lizard running on the sidewalk and puffing out his little throat thing. this isn't the first in counter with lizards since i have been here but its just shocking every time i see them. then on the side of the building right next to the youth building there are cactus growing every time i walk outside i am blown away. I'M IN TEXAS! haha... there is another shocking thing that i am still takin back by and that's the deer in my little neighborhood. so that may not be to big of a deal for some but i promise that if you were here you would have done the same thing that i did and taken a double take and then a triple take. the deer in my neighborhood have been trapped by the new highways and so they don't really have anywhere to go. as i was driving to my new home yesterday evening i look to my right and low and behold there are two deer bedded down under a tree. now i don't know about you all but for me that's just plain weird! but it gets better that is normal they actually just roam the neighborhood when i was sitting at dinner there were about 8 that were walking around and sitting in the back yard!!!! are you kidding me!?!?! so there are a few things that are different down here and that are rocking my world including the heat! its pretty intense right now and everyone says that its not even very bad. i was told last night that it will get up to 110 a lot of times so i guess i have crossed over into hell haha just kidding.

well everyone i cant tell you what God has up his sleeve but i know that he is faithful. my life with him continues to grow and strengthen. i have been diving into the word and i continue to be challenged by amazing friends. the support is awesome and i really thank you all who are praying for me. God bless you and please continue to pray. i am fully expecting God to radical change my life this summer. i know he is doing it now and i cant imagine what is to come. oh and stay in contact i love to hear from others and to be challenged and encouraged so feel free to comment or call me out. Give it to God y'all and be obedient!

A Call to the President!!

Check This Out! Action From our Government is Taking Place!
http://www.blogger.com/www.invisiblechildren.com/news&press/news/detail.php?pID=235739135

God's Timing is Perfect!

So tonight was amazing! I was excited to visit one of the adult leaders from last summer but it wasn't till I got there and saw her and visited with some of the people that I truly was awaken. Diana is such an amazing woman! When I cam back from youthworks I went to this lady for so much. A woman that could be my mother, a wife of 25 years, a daughter of two, one 22 and the other 18 with so much wisdom brought so much joy. Our time Begain with tony and I going to the church saying hi to Diana and talking with the youth pastor (Chris) and another leader from this summer (Ben). We then jumped into the car with Diana and heading to her home where she showed us around a bit and we met her husband. We then proceeded to fix dinner for her family and us. It was such a blessing to be able to serve this family by fixing them dinner. We ended up fixing ground hamburger and fried wild rice with different veggies and stuff. The other cool thing about the dinner was how Diana and the fam talked about how they haven't sat down at the table as a family in a long time. So we did! it was like old time when my family used to sit down and pray and enjoy one another. I love this family Michelle (18 year old daughter)calls me a brother and Diana calls me a son and because of the Talks i have had between Diana and even occasionally her daughters I even feel at home and comfortable to share my life.



It was after dinner that we went to church and I was able to reunite with some of the kids that I loved and was moved by last summer. These kids rocked my world tonight. When i walked in and they saw me i was nearly talked with hugs. it was amazing. i guess its hard to imagine that you would ever get a reaction from someone like that but if you ever do you will know that it feels great! These kids were so pumped and by the end of the reunion I was too. we then went into the small group part where tony and I joined Chandler an amazing kid with a heart bigger than Texas. They proceeded to watch a clip from the movie fireproof where the guy overcomes his temptation to look at pornography and takes a bat to his computer. They have been digging through the issues of purity for over a month now. For me this is awesome I am so glad that the church is stepping up and diving head first at this issue. These kids are getting valuable information that puts them so far ahead of their peers and it rocks. satan is getting a dose of Jesus and being rebuked with wisdom! AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME...! After sitting in on the junior high boys discussion with Chris (the youth pastor) we then mingled and headed over to this pizza place and hung out some more. Two of my favorite kids were there Chandler and Andrew! It was amazing to sit and laugh with these kids it brought back so much passion and evoked a joy and excitement that i had been lacking!



Like the title of this post says "God's Timing is Perfect!" I know this and I continue to be challenged by Him to be patient. Tonight God came in such a amazing fashion. I have not been excited about this summer really at all until now! Like I said God evoked in me such a joy and excitement for what he is going to do in my life that i am so ready to do this. Yes, my nervousness is still there and Yes, I am still in the dark but I know that God made tonight what it was. I know that God allowed this reunion to take place and put these people in my life in such a timely matter and it couldn't have been more perfect! GOD IS SOOOO GOOD!!



God then continued to rock my world as we went back to Diana's house and hung out with her daughter and herself. It was cool just to hang out and hear stories and look at pictures and what not. What was even more amazing was talking with Diana about parenting and just life in general. She is so full of wisdom and i loved hearing her speak and hearing the truth she spoke. I leave this night changed and again amazed at God and how he does things. To God be the Glory. I am beginning to see more and more how important it is to be patient and wait on God. My challenge to you all is to be patient pray fervently and trust in the Almighty and his Perfect timing!

I Stand Amazed!

God always seems to amaze me. I don't know why that is, I guess it kind of shows my lack of faith and trust in Him. I mean time and time again he promises things to us so why do we not believe and why are we so amazed. Non the less I still continue to be shocked and awed by Him. Sometimes I struggle with understanding why He is so good to me. Time and time again I disappoint Him. My past is filled with mistakes and shame but God continues to show me that He has moved past that and that I should to. He Rocks my world with His grace and forgiveness Rocking my world with the things he promises to do and the things he does. Since I opened my heart up to the amazing power of God my freshman year in college He has been cultivating a love for love and a desire that has been amazing to say the least. Yes, within these past few year I have made my fare share of wrong turns and have even battled the Father I love and loves me. Through it all we have grown closer and I have had the honor to learn from Him and the mistakes i have made. Yes, I am a man of faith a man set apart for God and His will in my life. I Stand Amazed in the fact that God wants to know me deeper and on a more personal level. I Stand Amazed at the things He is doing in my life. Like I said I have been on a path of growth since I opened my heart up to God. and in the past couple months God has really opened Himself up to me! Thanks to the people God has put in my path I have been pushed and challenged over and over again. My eyes have been opened to so much and I can not wait to see my future unfold. Someone special a couple weeks ago challenged me to raise the standard, set the bar high, and not to settle. Now, with that spurring on of encouragement I set out to do just that and as I do I am blessed with seeing how God is rejoicing in my obedience and my pursuit of Him. I Stand Amazed!!

I Like To Call My Self Homeless but I Think Wandering Nomad Is More Appropriate

For a while now i have felt "homeless". I dont want to throw that word around lightly because I do not endure the hardships like many but I am unsure as to where "home" really is. All my life i have moved from place to place never living in one place much longer than 6 years. Now that I am older and as I look back at this type of living I long and search for a place to call "home." When I was born I lived in Akron, Indiana. This lasted only till i was 2 where I then moved to Buda, Illinois. I wasnt there long till we moved half way through my 1st grade school year to Charelston, Illinois. Charelston became a more long term place to stay till after 6th grade when we moved to Sullivan, Indiana. Sullivan was and sometimes still is the place I call home its where I have spent some good time. I have had some of my most memerable times in ol Sullyvill and it was the place I stayed the longest. But, after I graduated it was time to go again. I was headed up to Gilead, Indiana with my grandma and grandpa. With me going into College the comeing fall this made this resedence only a place to stay. The next summer i stayed at my mothers in Rochester, Indiana. The summer after that I worked in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and now this summer I am in San Antonio, Texas. Now, I dont know about you all but this kind of life is great for a while but there comes a point where for me I just want to be in one spot for a while. I go and meet new people everywhere I go and then i up and move on to some place new and start all over. I normaly enjoy the nomadic lifestyle its great to just be able to get up and go. There is something about having nothing but what you can carry and just following God and doing life. even now as I type this I like the idea but now, the things I am doing are not like that. maybe it is because deep down I want a place to call "home" so each place I go I try to make that a place to call "home" (by the way, thats not working) so here I am again waundering through life seeking God and knowing that he has me in the palm of his hand leading, guiding, and directing me so that one day he can bring me to my true "Home" with Him!